Take a guess at the following question. How much time do you spend thinking about positive things versus negative things? Also consider the amount of time spent discussing days that are less than perfect, spouses who are less than perfect, and co-workers who are never perfect. Does it seem like 50-50, 20-80, or 80-20? Did it make you go hmm? The average person spends a substantial amount of time discussing and pondering the negatives that have occurred over the positives. Can you see the danger that results from participating in this pastime? Doubt, fears, negative beliefs, and undermining are a few to start with. If you’ve been a victim of negative focus don’t be alarmed, there is hope through reprogramming.
Manuel and Brooke had known each other for years. They met just after college when they shared a minuscule cubicle at their first job, and thus it began. It seemed that they spent a great deal of their time together complaining about the size (or lack there of) of their office, bad hair days, bad relationships, crazy commutes, and atrocious vacations. In fact, it almost became a game to them to try and best each other with the most pitiful saga. When Brooke was about to celebrate her thirtieth birthday she called Manuel and made a date for dinner and DVD’s, as was their customary birthday ritual. Over an excellent meal cooked by Manuel, a wonderful wine, and a seemingly endless supply of DVD’s, the two discussed the next decade of their lives. A little tipsy, Brooke asked Manuel why it was that they were still single while just about all of their friends had found mates. Manuel shrugged. During the next movie she pondered the fact that each of them had never found a job that they truly enjoyed, nor had they ever stuck with a company for more than a year or two. Manuel simply replied that they’d been hard pressed to find any jobs, not to mention their “dream jobs.” But, Brooke had gotten Manuel thinking too. He asked her why it was that they were always stressed and seemed fatigued and unhappy, despite decent paychecks, quite a few really good friends, and numerous dates. Brooke simply shrugged.
Despite the numerous glasses of wine, when Brooke woke up she felt invigorated. She had dreamed her life and things were much different than the one she was living. She was upbeat, successful, married, and was even a mother in her dream. More surprising was that Manuel was also in her dream, as her husband and was the father of her children! When she called him to meet her after work she told him about her dream. He laughed and was about to shrug it off, but she was not to be put off. She had had a glimpse of a vastly different life, one that she was anxious to embrace and claim as her own. She sat down with Manuel and told him that she wanted to de-stress and shed some of the negativity that was weighing her down, and asked him to help her. As her best friend, she asked him to do the same for a one month period and they would re-evaluate at that time. When one of them slipped and fell back into old habits they were to place five dollars into a kitty, which would go towards their annual vacation.
After a few weeks Manuel and Brooke got into the habit of meeting more regularly and doing many more new things. They met less for dinner and drinks and started being active during their meetings. They found that activity kept them from resorting to the old habit of focusing on the negative. They also found that they really had a good time together and spent a great deal of it laughing. The stress that plagued them both seemed to start abating and things began to gel for them. At the end of the first month they decided to continue on for six months. They both loved the changes that they were seeing, and were not surprised that their friends and families were also noticing the differences in each of them. They began living the life that Brooke had envisioned in her dream, and neither was ready to give it up. They had even made a bit of headway towards their next vacation, but the frequency of monetary inputs was beginning to seriously decline.
Brooke and Manuel are just one example of people caught in a rut, the rut of expending energy on the wrong thing. Energy drains, time wasters, and poor planning are all time wasters, but none of them hold a candle to negativity. Negativity can seep into every aspect of life and take it over. Brooke and Manuel finally recognized this, but it took them over a decade to figure it out. Don’t let this happen, and if it has don’t let it go on for another minute. Revamp the thinking process. Focus on the positive, change your scenery, change your friends, and be prepared to make whatever changes are necessary to move you a full one-hundred and eighty degrees.
By eliminating negative thoughts, focus, and living from your life it allows you to reclaim and remold your present. Imagine more stress-free time to spend with your family, the self-confidence to get out and meet new people, or the money that could come from a new promotion. One’s attitude is one’s calling card. It’s so much easier to achieve success when one is approachable. So if you deem it necessary, why not make a clean sweep of your life and revamp your outlook even if on a trial basis. Give positive actions, positive thoughts, and positive companions, your undivided attention for just a one month period and I bet that you will be able to tally more positive occurrences than negative ones. Please keep a list. As great things happen, mark them down, and review your list frequently. My guess is that you’ll soon become addicted to the success that begins flooding your way. By all means–open those positive floodgates.
How will you choose to open YOUR positive floodgates for 2011? What will be different for you in the New Year? Share your comments below!